10 Minutes with Jake Humphrey

Jake Humphrey is the founder of High Performance. He has spent years interviewing elite athletes, coaches and business leaders about how they deal with pressure, setbacks and self-doubt on the High Performance Podcast. Motivated by his own experiences of bullying and struggling with confidence as a teen, Jake began working with schools through the High Performance Foundation. He is also the co-author of Game Plan, the ultimate guide for teens to build confidence, beat self-doubt, and achieve their goals 

1. After years of interviewing elite athletes and high performers about pressure and setbacks - what’s the most transferable lesson from that world that parents can share with their teens?

The importance of allowing and embracing failure. All of the successful people I have spoken to have failed lots, but they reframe it as learning. So encourage teens to fail early and learn from it - it will shape them and they will achieve success more quickly.

2. You’ve spoken about being bullied at school and struggling with confidence - what advice do you have for parents navigating similar experiences with their children?

It’s really tricky and I can still to this day remember the feeling but I do really believe that it has helped me. Of course, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and it doesn’t change the present, so for parents with children that are finding things tough, I would suggest they spend time with them, encourage them to talk and really just listen. Don’t try and solve anything but let them know that in the pain there are great lessons and what is hard isn’t always bad. 

3. From your work with schools, is there one mindset skill you feel teens aren’t being taught?

Mental strength, which is the term we are using at the High Performance Foundation - our charity which is doing work in schools. The ability to manage thoughts, and behaviours is a game changer. I don’t think that we put enough emphasis on developing and prioritising soft skills and we need to praise and reward effort not achievements. If a child is doing the best that they can, but still not coming top or finishing first, you can’t ask for any more.

4. Comparison culture and social media add a new level of pressure to young people today that can impact confidence. How can parents support with that?

I really believe that comparison is the thief of joy, it’s unhelpful for adults and children, you need to stick to your own path. But it’s hard to avoid, especially with social media, and we all know the negative impact that can have on people. I think that parents need to have clear boundaries with social media and then it’s all about open communication. Sadly, our children will be exposed to things that are inappropriate but if you can create a safe space for them to discuss anything with you then hopefully that will help. And let’s see what happens with government intervention!

Photo credit: David Cummings